The Price of Love
Though I have not lived long
Upon this blue globe, I have started to understand
Just how much it is that I do not understand
About life, about the world, and about the Universe.
However, I have learned that when
My heart is lighted by the presence of a
Young woman, like a star shining in the blackness of the night,
Creating a point of light and hope where without
Such a light, there would be none,
Or when her smile is like a warm summer day
To a man that has been trapped in
An icy glacier of solitude for a thousand years,
I know that the seeds of love have been planted
In my chest, from which a towering tree of affection
May emerge, although these saplings often die,
Before they grow into tall trees that may cast a shadow
Cooling the earth in its shade,
Because, sadly, no such seeds were planted
Within her heart for me.
Too often I have heard the patronizing words
Of rebuke that slice my soul apart,
Leaving me as a shadow of what I was.
Although I shall bear these scars
Within my memory for years to come,
I forgive all of the young women who have cast me aside.
Each and every one of them is completely forgiven,
And I promise to never seek revenge,
For to do so creates a darkness that is greater
Than the demon of self-doubt that tells me that I shall
Never be handsome enough,
Never be charming enough,
Never be intelligent enough,
And never be strong enough
To make myself worthy of
The love of a beautiful young woman.
But if there is anyway
That I can serve one of them,
They need only to say the word,
And I shall be there at their side,
Willing to do whatever it takes to help them,
Without ever expecting a single word of thanks.
But, I must also seek to atone for my past,
In which through the pursuit of one young lady,
Through ignorance, or through indecisiveness,
I have spurned the love of another young woman.
These actions hang heavy on my heart,
And plant thoughts in my mind
That take root and with time grow larger and larger
Until they scream through my whole being
Telling me that I deserve
My present state of
For what I have done,
And for who I am.