The Price of Love

Though I have not lived long

Upon this blue globe, I have started to understand

Just how much it is that I do not understand

About life, about the world, and about the Universe.

However, I have learned that when

My heart is lighted by the presence of a

Young woman, like a star shining in the blackness of the night,

Creating a point of light and hope where without

Such a light, there would be none,

Or when her smile is like a warm summer day

To a man that has been trapped in

An icy glacier of solitude for a thousand years,

I know that the seeds of love have been planted

In my chest, from which a towering tree of affection

May emerge, although these saplings often die,

Before they grow into tall trees that may cast a shadow

Cooling the earth in its shade,

Because, sadly, no such seeds were planted

Within her heart for me.

Too often I have heard the patronizing words

Of rebuke that slice my soul apart,

Leaving me as a shadow of what I was.

Although I shall bear these scars

Within my memory for years to come,

I forgive all of the young women who have cast me aside.

Each and every one of them is completely forgiven,

And I promise to never seek revenge,

For to do so creates a darkness that is greater

Than the demon of self-doubt that tells me that I shall

Never be handsome enough,

Never be charming enough,

Never be intelligent enough,

And never be strong enough

To make myself worthy of

The love of a beautiful young woman.

But if there is anyway

That I can serve one of them,

They need only to say the word,

And I shall be there at their side,

Willing to do whatever it takes to help them,

Without ever expecting a single word of thanks.

But, I must also seek to atone for my past,

In which through the pursuit of one young lady,

Through ignorance, or through indecisiveness,

I have spurned the love of another young woman.

These actions hang heavy on my heart,

And plant thoughts in my mind

That take root and with time grow larger and larger

Until they scream through my whole being

Telling me that I deserve

My present state of

Solitude

For what I have done,

And for who I am.